end of the year musings

End of the year musings this year are definitely a mixed bag, but isnt a mixed bag kind of what we want as opposed to a lack of variety? At least in the life experience department…or this is what I’m telling myself at least.

Obviously I know it’s good to have certain aspects of life be predictable. I am a lover of consistency and safety, of things tried and true. I cherish reliability, authenticity and sincerity in the majority of my life experiences. I’m not one who does well with chaos and if I’m honest have a hard time “going with the flow”- as they say.

I am however, actively working on the similar ideal of “trusting the process”. I suspect they mean the same thing ultimately but for some reason “trusting the process” makes me feel like I’m actively participating with this elusive “flow” of life by taking part in the process, and participation feels positive as opposed to just going with it. Self deception at its best

Regardless my year gave me many insights and firsts, opportunities that scared me, along with failures, rejections, confusion as well as positive feedback and successes. All of which has made me feel more determined to stick to one of my favorite adages “slow and steady wins the race”. I have always felt this to be true for me, just taking one step at a time and giving myself time to assimilate my steps as well as look around me and evaluate my direction. Giving myself advice and going with the flow seems akin to trusting myself and the process of life. We’ll see where that leads and as long as I can keep making art I feel like I’m winning.